it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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