i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
