ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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