i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
