it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
