i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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