that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
