Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i drank out of a bidet.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
