i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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