I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
