She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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