On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
