Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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