Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
