worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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