I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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