How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
