You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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