So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
