My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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