shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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