my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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