so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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