hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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