I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize