woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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