and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
