You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
