too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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