Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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