if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize