Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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