Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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