Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
