Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
