ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
