Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
