Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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