Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
