Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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