is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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