I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
