she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
