What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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