I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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