just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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