are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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