Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
