we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My life is pants optional.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
