did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
