Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
