I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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