My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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