this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
