Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize