She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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