That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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