Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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