yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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