Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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