Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My bed smells like the plague
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
