he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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