Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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