I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize