he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
