Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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